By Dr. Irina Fiksman

• The feelings of loss, fear, anger, sadness and the like that you feel at the time of the diagnosis are all normal.
• Let yourself feel these feelings, grieve for what you have lost, and accept that your chronic illness as a reality you will have to live with for a long time. Get over the "Why me?" attitude, and replace negative thoughts with acceptance thoughts such as, "I don’t like being sick, but I can lean to live with it”. It will free your mental energy for work on recovery and rehabilitation.
• Avoid making major decisions at the initial diagnosis and during any acute stages of the condition.
• Express your emotions in constructive ways. Your anger is normal, but directing it towards your loved ones will do you no good.
• Don’t blame yourself for being sick. It may be your misfortune, but certainly not your fault.
• Understand other people's reactions. You may not be the only one who feels emotional about your illness.
• Seek support from family and friends, but avoid “entertaining” others with lengthy intimate details of your suffering.
• Don't let your illness define who you are. Try as best you can to compartmentalize the illness and not give it free rein over your existence. Your chronic illness is but one card in your deck.
• Focus on what you can control. While you may not have control over the way the illness develops and affects your body, you do have control over how you handle these challenges.
• Learn all you can about your illness; it is likely to make you feel less helpless and vulnerable.
• Find competent doctors who genuinely care about you as a person, and be an active participant in your treatment.
• Prepare for your medical appointments by writing down your concerns and questions; ask your doctors to repeat and explain anything that you don’t understand.
• Stay as independent as possible, given the limitations that the illness causes.
  Keep up with friends, favorite activities, and everyday things. Pets do wonders for our physical and mental health.
• Call upon your spiritual beliefs to help you find greater meaning and purpose in your life.
• Join a support group to share emotional comfort, friendship, information about your disease, and opinions about new treatments.
• Learn and practice simple, focused breathing exercises, meditation, and progressive muscle relaxation to lessen your anxiety.
• Know when to seek professional counseling. Depression is one of the most common complications of chronic illness, and its risk increases with the severity of the illness and the level of life disruption it causes. Depression may aggravate the illness by intensifying pain, fatigue, sluggishness, and social isolation. Fortunately, depression is quite treatable.

People who deal with unexpected challenges often find an inner resilience they might not have known was there before.