By Dr. Irina Fiksman

The Holiday Season is among the forty most common major stressors identified by the Life Event Stress Scale. It may be quite taxing even for healthy well-adjusted persons with intact, loving and supportive families. Holidays bring to the surface conflicts that may have laid dormant the rest of the year. Not surprisingly, among the most common stressors are the ones related to time, families, losses, unfulfilled expectations, and finances.

If you are feeling tired and overwhelmed, you may be paying for the weeks of shopping in crowded malls, struggling with heavier-than-usual traffic, holiday cooking, entertaining, long-distance travel, family reunions and/or houseguests.

• Make sure you get enough sleep.  It’s a must if you want to enjoy holiday activities.  Sleep deprived individuals tend to feel sluggish and irritable.
• Accept your physical limitations.  List and prioritize important activities.
• Leave pockets of time for yourself.
• Take time for spiritual reflection.
• Learn to delegate the holiday chores.

Do you spend more money than you can afford on Christmas presents and other holiday related activities? 

• Acknowledge that you may not be able to afford the holiday you’d like, or feel you're supposed to have.
• Set a holiday budget and stick to it no matter what.
• Buy presents only for the children.
• Set a limit on the cost of presents.
• Give the gift of your time.

Do you feel depressed and lonely?

• Don’t assume that you’re the only person feeling lonely and blue. 
• Don't fall prey to commercial hype by forcing yourself to have fun.
• Acknowledge your feelings, and try to identify your stressors.
• Reach out to relatives and friends you’ve been out of touch for years; make amends with the ones you had a falling out a long-long time ago. 
• Volunteer to help others.
• Join groups affiliated with your local religious organizations, museums, libraries or community centers.
• Give yourself something to look forward to after the holiday.

Strained relationship issues surface when families get together.  Do you feel apprehensive about or even dread getting together with your family?

• Accept that you may not be able to change your family members.
• At the holiday table, try to sit far away from those you find most difficult to relate to.
• Avoid drudging up old conflicts at the table.  If possible, put off resolving family issues until after the holidays.
• Be civil and polite with everybody.
• Smile, compliment generously and talk about “safe topics”.
• Consider taking an out of town holiday vacation if you find these holiday celebrations unbearable.

Holiday weight struggle.

• Never go to a holiday party hungry.
• Serve food on small plates.
• Stand away from the party food table.
• Wait 20 minutes before getting another plate of food from the buffet. You’ll often find that you’re no longer hungry.
• Drink alcohol in moderation.  Remember that alcohol has 100 to 175 calories per drink.

Are you grieving the loss of a significant loved one?

Holiday celebrations may reawaken your grief and make you especially sad over the contrast between “now” and “the way things used to be.”

• Give yourself permission to express your feelings.
• Do not isolate yourself.
• When you are ready, try to set new family traditions.
• Look at what you do have.